True Love

Does it even still exist? Who am I to say…I’ve given up on it for the most part. But I’ll hang on this picture just to give me a tiny inkling of hope.

True love

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Authentically Authentic


Are we really able to be our authentic selves or are we still being “told” how to be authentic?


I’ve been wanting to write an article like this, a series of articles actually, for a long time, but of course, I’ve been too afraid to. Too afraid of what? To say how I really feel, of course. Because being myself, saying what I really think or feel, being authentic, will just get me in trouble with someone, I’m sure.

But, I’m just going to stick my toe in the water here and post something short and see how this goes. :-/

Plus…

A part of me has gotten to a point where…how does she put it? You country music fans might be familiar with this line from Jo Dee Messina…

”My Give A Damn’s Busted.”

I’ve been interviewing and interviewing for a new job for three and half months now. I don’t do things half-assed. I put my everything into it and I don’t know how much longer I can do this, quite honestly. I have the expertise, I have the passion, I’m a kind, loyal, dedicated, hard-working person (even though I was told I was “mean” for the first time in my life by a senior-level director, someone quite honestly who didn’t even really know me). I’m getting worse and worse at my interviews because I’m so exhausted and depressed.

I think I could probably write a screen play about my life and all the crazy, unbelievable, rude, outrageous, shitty, self-serving, and yeah, kinda humorous (now that I look back), things I’ve been through. But, hey, I got back up and I’m still kickin’ it! A little pissed off and resentful, but I’m learning to let it go, and I’ve actually learned some pretty valuable lessons about life and people and strength and resiliency through these experiences. And I’ve sought out and received invaluable help from new resources I’ve discovered and support from new friends and connections I’ve been blessed with. Nothing happens without one door closing or by mistake.

“Your best teacher is your last mistake.”                                                             ~  Ralph Nader

~ My new favorite resource and quote is from Brené Brown. I wish I would have heard this one a long time ago! This runs through my head a LOT!!! Very helpful…and SO true. 🙂

“If they’re not also in the arena getting their ass kicked too, then their opinion doesn’t matter.”

~ My new work theme:

“Let It Go”

Back to being authentic, I remember writing an email. Just a short, quick email in which I intended to be authentic and my boss, who shall remain nameless, insisted on “proofing” it and “mentoring me” on how to “proof” my messages. To delete all the “justs” and “maybes” because she thought I was too tentative in my communication style. By the time we were done “proofing” my message it didn’t sound authentically like me at all. A message that is authentically me, from my heart, is one which just pours out, and is natural, in my voice, not something that’s been doctored, and edited by someone who isn’t even inside my head.

This stuff really gets to me and I don’t understand why we can’t just be ourselves. What’s wrong with that??? Are we really so bad just the way we are?

Practice What You Preach

As Scrum Masters, Agile Coaches and Agile Leaders…we need to MODEL Agile behaviors…

NOT:

  • Make decisions behind each other’s backs.
  • Tell team members what to do, remember we’re all adults and we are self-managing, we don’t need to tell each other whether or not we’re allowed to check our email, etc.
  • Raise impediments to the group. If you have an issue, RAISE it. Don’t let it fester or go running off talking about it to someone else.
  • Go back on our word, promises, or commitments made.

These kinds of things ruin trust that has been established. Please treat each other as adults, with respect, and as we teach our teams we’re supposed to treat each other. Modeling, and actually “being”, is the best form of teaching. Being the opposite of what you’re teaching is the best form of being a fraud.

The Meaning of Music in my Life

Music instantly lifts my spirits, no matter what. The second I turn it on, all other thoughts leave my mind, and I am focused on nothing but the words to the song, singing along. It’s almost like my form of mindfulness. I’m not thinking about the past or the future. I’m only thinking about the present, the exact moment. That song. Read More……

BRAVING: The Anatomy of Trust by Brené Brown

Use this checklist to evaluate how trust is showing up in a relationship, whether at work or in a personal relationship.

BRAVING

What does it mean to trust someone? What does it mean to trust yourself?

Brené Brown explains how trust is a lot like a marble jar, which was a discipline and reward system her daughter’s teacher used in the classroom. Read More……

Building a Culture of Trust at Work

Introduction – Psychological Safety

Today in our work environments, trust is one of the most critical factors, yet it is still hard to build and even more difficult to find. Read More……